I left you at the end of my last blog in a painkiller-induced haze having just completed my first night with my new hip and was about to start on my road to recovery.
I had my operation during the May Bank Holiday Weekend and if you can remember it was hot, damn hot! It was a case of the blanket off and T-shirt off for everyone in the ward (patients only) as obviously the hospital couldn’t afford to have the air-conditioning switched on regardless of the effect it was having on the patients!
I had my own private room so my bed wasn’t too far from an open window. This, however, meant that I was also in the direct line of fire for the numerous wasps that made a beeline for that open window (can wasps make a beeline – who knows?). The nurses were as scared of the wasps as I was but at least they could escape my room, whereas I was a sitting duck being completely immobile. None of the nurses dared to tackle them and while they discussed calling Rentokil from the safety of the corridor, I was stuck in my room madly flapping my arms around in a wasp induced panic.
Fortunately, along came the fearless tea lady with her deadly tea towel and five ninja flicks later they were gone, but it did mean that I had to close my window.
By early morning of Day 1, it was time for me to have my first experience of the physios. I have to admit that unfortunately, I was not impressed as they tried to get me on my feet for the first time since my operation. Now, bearing in mind that I had been lying on my back since around 2 pm the previous day in a scorching hot room being pumped full of drugs you would have thought that they might gradually introduce me to my exercises by getting me to sit up first, then stand, and then, if I was ok, try a few steps with the walking frame.
Oh no! ” Come on Stephen, let’s get you on your feet, you can’t lie there all day. Well done, now let’s see if you can march on the spot”
This was my cue to start sweating profusely, the room started spinning and had there not been a bed behind me, I would have hit the floor. Unsurprisingly, my blood pressure had dropped incredibly low, causing me to nearly faint.
The rest of my first day consisted of taking painkillers either by tablet, liquid or intravenously, getting my blood pressure taken and sleeping.
A day to forget, quite literally.
Once I had eventually got onto my feet the next day, I managed surprisingly well with the walking frame, soon ditching it on for a couple of sticks and on day 4 I was able to demonstrate to the physios that I could do the basic exercises that I would need to do for the next 6 weeks. I was also able to cope with stairs which meant that I was good to go home.
I had been in the hospital for a total of 5 days and the care I received had been excellent (I won’t mention the one nurse who was miserable as sin, spilled the contents of my catheter bag all over the floor and grabbed my very painful leg while trying to move me and didn’t even apologise).
Once I had slowly and not very gracefully got into the car to go home Jill thought it would be a good idea to drive as though she was auditioning for the next “The Fast and the Furious” film or had been temporarily possessed by the spirit of Colin McRae. It wasn’t a comfortable journey but apparently, that is how she always drives!
What follows is a timeline of the milestones that I reached during the following weeks of recovery/rehab but what I did notice were rapid gains in the first few weeks, once the initial operation recovery was over, followed by a more gradual improvement in mobility and strength in the new hip after that.
Day 5
Walking with 1 stick
Day 7
No more strong painkillers. It’s down to you now paracetamol.
Day 8
First poop since the operation (phew). The perils of taking lots of morphine.
Day 10
My first trip out in the car as a passenger. I was going stir crazy in the house. I did, however, feel like I was a nan being taken out for her Sunday drive. All that was missing was a tartan blanket over my knees.
Day 11
My first venture out onto the line for a walk. Apparently, I was seen by one of Jill’s friends shuffling about in my old man slippers.
Day 14
Clips removed. Completely painless much to my surprise.
Week 3
Can now walk down stairs normally.
Week 4
Thankfully, I can now stop injecting myself in the belly to prevent DVT. This was no fun at all and I needed to motivate myself each night to do it. My belly felt like a pin cushion so I don’t envy anybody who has to inject insulin every day.
Week 5
I can now walk upstairs normally, walk without a stick, without a limp and also lift my knee to about 90 degrees.
Week 6
This is the end of the “hip restrictions” which are placed on you to reduce the risk of dislocating the new joint. I found this quite amusing because you are just not capable of doing any of the things they tell you not to do for most of these six weeks anyway, either because your hip isn’t mobile enough yet or it is just too bloody painful.
Week 7
I can now take my socks off without the aid of my handy grabber. Putting socks on, however, is still a mission impossible.
It feels like my new left hip is stronger and more stable than my right hip now despite its current limited mobility and walking for any distance at all is just confirming to me that I really need to get the second operation as soon as possible. It is the right hip that is causing the majority of my pain now, so I am not going to be able to enjoy the benefits of my surgery until all of my arthritis in consigned to the hospital’s bin.
I might even ask if I can keep my gammy ball joint this time as a memento of my hippy adventure. I could fashion it into some sort of ornament, although I doubt our dog would be able to resist the temptation of a free snack.
I am seeing my consultant soon to get the all clear that everything is progressing as it should be (hopefully). My first goals are to gain the ability to put on my socks and to be able to bend over and pick things up off the floor comfortably.
Onwards and upwards!
Stephen